Tips for Parents and Carers
Engage in open conversations with your child
Tip 1: Create natural opportunities for conversation
When are the times that you come together and have fun as a family? Sitting around the dinner table can be a great time for conversations to come up about what children are watching and experiencing. Everything is better with food, right?
Tip 2: Listen and don't judge
Listening is your most powerful tool. Be patient and let them be in the driving seat of what they're comfortable sharing. Try not to react with shock or concern when hearing their experiences - this will help keep a shame-free space where they feel comfortable to share more.
Tip 3: 100x1 minute-long conversations, NOT 1x100-minute long conversations
Normalise having lots of little conversations throughout your child's adolescence on relationships, sex and other important topics like consent, rather than just having the "one big talk."
Tip 4: The power of the first mention
The way in which a concept is first introduced to a child often becomes the lens through which they view any further new information. Initiate age-appropriate conversations with your children as early as you can - and certainly before they start secondary school or receive a smartphone.
Tip 5: Don't be afraid to ask twice
Mental health organisations talk about asking 'how are you?' twice, so you get the real answer the second time. Don't be afraid to ask repeat questions, and don't be afraid to mention big words like porn, masturbation, nudes etc.!
Setting family & personal boundaries
Tip 1: For any of these changes you make, join your child in them too
We've found that 'because I said so doesn't always work as a deterrent from certain behaviours. Let's reduce the us-vs-them and join our children in any digital changes we encourage them to subscribe to. Be in it together.
Tip 2: No phones in rooms (get a real alarm clock!)
Why not create a central device docking system that you and your family use to charge all devices? This reduces late night scrolling and exposure to harmful content.
Tip 3: Use parental controls
If your child is already on social media, use parental controls to make the device as safe as possible. And have a conversation about these changes as you make them. Keeping children safe online | NSPCC has some fantastic guides
Tip 4: Loan the phone
When you decide it's the right time to give your child a mobile phone - make it clear that it's yours, but on loan to them. This will make it easier to set boundaries and check what they're looking at on the phone.